Snapchat Trilobash (Cannon Fire Can't Fix Everything)
rating: 0+x

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who are you?

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I'm here to inspect trilobites!
wait can you read this


why can't i read any of your messages
how did you add me??
I'm so confused!! 😣😣

Re▓koning of Trilobite▓

i can fix

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Reckoning of Trilobites



wait you're that anomalocaris I saw in site-201? 😮😮
also I don't know what you're doing with your text size but could you please make it smaller?
it takes up so much of my screen!

Reckoning of Trilobites

oh sorry technology rectangle lady
yes I am the anomalocaris of tribulation for tri-lobers
[image goes here]
wait wrong image
[silly image goes here]


oh okay 😅

Reckoning of Trilobites

[reply goes here]

[convo with 3009]

[goofy mspaint-looking drawing of battle]

[more convo]


look it's just
I've dealing with personal issues
i don't want to talk right now

Reckoning of Trilobites

oh no!
what did the trilobites do to you???
did you do the thing that one man warned about
about gazing long into the trilobites
and the trilobites gazing back into you????


it isn't fucking trilobites okay?

Reckoning of Trilobites

that's what the trilobites would say


i've been dealing with personal stuff today
i don't want to deal with your checkup crap

Reckoning of Trilobites

were you forced to talk with yourself-but-outside-of-technology-rectangle and had an argument and felt unsure of your identity and felt glum?


how did you know?

Reckoning of Trilobites

secret maneuver


that happened
get why I don't want to talk?
i can't keep pretending like i'm fine
like she's fine

Reckoning of Trilobites

control+h found no menaces
the sneaky monsters are elsewhere!


i'm trying to cope and you aren't helping things

Reckoning of Trilobites

I can fix!



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are you still here?

what are you doing? hello?

Stacey Lee lays in the well-worn dents of her bed and pillow, facing the containment chamber wall and staring through it into nothing. The wall is spotless. The rest of the chamber is from it. Behind her is a kitchen, a "living room" with a television and a dull blue couch, a false window that renders whatever serene outside environments she wanted to see. Pithy motivational posters hang from the walls. Fake sunlight, shifting from morning to midday hues, drifts in.

She doesn't look to or think of any of it. The wall is gray and featureless, letting her wholly defocus and think equally featureless thoughts. Tiredness minus sleepiness weighs down on her. She quickly glances at the calendar above the patch of wall. November 3rd, 2018. Two months since Snapchat led to her indefinite confinement, one month since she started to doubt her identity, one week since her wrist was stitched back together and her cell had to be safety proofed to prevent her from doing that again.

Unknown months until she can be finally allowed to leave.

Wind suddenly sweeps into her back and something behind her thuds against the ground, metal clinking against the floor. She jumps, rolls over, and sees— oh. It's that thing.

"Hi! Gunhead Anomalocaris, Expert Trilobite—"

"Yeah, I know."

"You knew?" It cocks its artillery amalgam head. Above it a portal — leading to a white void with snapchat messages looming within — shrinks to a speck and fades out.

"Heard about what happened in Site-201. From researchers."

"Did they talk about how cool it was that I blew up all those trilofucks? They were in the walls but I could tell they were there and they went boom and—"

"You nearly killed someone."


"Benedict or Benny, some name like that. They've been hospitalized because of you."

It's blindingly obvious that the anomalocaris is breaching the Foundation's "containment." This doesn't matter to Stacey. From what she can tell, events like this always end the same way: the anomaly is found again, locked up again, and everything returns to normal. She stays in her bed, looking at the creature and knowing her life won't change today.

"I didn't hurt anybody! Well, trilobites got hurt but they eat pain for breakfast like how they eat poop for brunch so all they cared about was not being able to be villains."

"Fine. Whatever."

She rolls back over to face the wall.

"I'm going to perform a checkup for trilobites! I can smell them here."

Stacey doesn't respond. The anomalocaris seems to wait for an answer before she hears the sounds of it flopping along the ground. The couch is moved, grinding against the ground, and a cacophony of metal impacts kicks in. She can barely drift off at first, but the clanging and the BANG of miniature cannons become a white noise to her ears that she tunes out. She thinks blank thoughts.

Then it stops.

"I should tell you a thing," it says.

"I don't want to talk right now."

"I was talking with you but not you who's in the technology rectangle!"

It takes a moment to digest what "technology rectangle" means. Then it hits her. "…Don't bring that up."

[section with 3009-C]

The world around Stacey Lee shatters.

[section where 3009 vents about stuff]

[explosion emoji]

The world around Stacey Lee shatters.


This was written as part of the SCP Original Character Tournament, Round Two, between my own Gunhead Anomalocaris and keyii's "Stacey Lee".

Be sure to read keyii's entry, Anomalous Teens Against Trilobite Schemes, which is superb!

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