Cimmerian Sandbox Hub
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A non-anomalous crowbar acquired from SCP-XXXX during a manifestation event.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Police records regarding break-ins inside the continental US are to be processed daily by Foundation AIs to determine if those incidents are SCP-XXXX related.

Amnestic administration to individuals who have encountered SCP-XXXX is to be carried out following an interview by Foundation personnel.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a sentient beef sandwich approximately 1.2 meters tall and 1.8 meters wide. SCP-XXXX spontaneously aparates outside the homes of selected individuals in need of technical help with their personal computers. SCP-XXXX possesses four limbs approximately 13 centimeters wide and 72 centimeters long. Two limbs extend from its sides and are used to manipulate objects while two more on the underside of the entity are used to facilitate movement. SCP-XXXX also aparates with a crowbar, generally grasped by the left appendage, and a large red baseball cap on the top of its body.

SCP-XXXX will, should the primary entrance to a selected domicile be locked, break a window in the pursuit of gaining ingress. SCP-XXXX will then begin the process of correcting or repairing any issues with the homeowner's personal computer. Following the conclusion of these repairs, the entity will demand payment from the homeowner. Once satisfied, the entity will leave the domicile, dematerializing outside of the home.

How SCP-XXXX selects homes to visit is unclear, but all recorded events have occurred inside the continental US. These events invariably occur in the homes of individuals who have sought professional help with their personal computers. There is no documented connection between companies contacted for these services. However, records for individuals serviced by SCP-XXXX are invariably absent from company databases despite evidence of their being contacted through phone records.

Log XXXX-78:

On July 7th, 2016 Dr. Madrigal1's home computer ceased to function. A local computer repair shop was contacted in an effort to acquire technical assistance. Due to Dr. Madrigal's employment with the Foundation, full audio and video surveillance of his home was in effect.

The following is the pertinent log from July 9th, 2016.

Breaking glass can be heard, followed by a door opening.

Dr. Madrigal: Jesus!

SCP-XXXX: Yeah, sorry. Where's the computer at?

Dr. Madrigal: You broke my window!

SCP-XXXX: Yeah the door was locked, where's the computer?

There is a 4 second long pause.

Dr. Madrigal: In the den.

SCP-XXXX: Alright.

SCP-XXXX moves into the next room and begins to whistle before stopping abruptly.

SCP-XXXX: Sir. Come in here for a second.

Dr. Madrigal moves into the next room with SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Yeah see you said the computer wouldn't come on right?

Dr. Madrigal: Yes.

SCP-XXXX: I dunno what happened but it looks like it became unplugged. Any time you run into a problem like this be sure to take a moment and make sure it's plugged in.

Dr. Madrigal: Yeah, uh. I'm sorry, that was stupid of me.

SCP-XXXX: Don't worry about it, happens to everybody once.

SCP-XXXX plugs the computer in and hits the power button, the computer begins to boot.

SCP-XXXX: See! Bam. There you go.

There is a pause until the operating system finishes loading.

Dr. Madrigal: Well. Thanks I guess, how much do I owe you?

SCP-XXXX: Three and a half dills.

Dr. Madrigal: Sorry?

SCP-XXXX: Yeah. Look I know it wasn't much but I had to come all the way out here, and now I gotta go back and gas isn't cheap. Three and a half is the basic trip charge.

Dr. Madrigal tries to speak several times before nodding and and moving into his kitchen. SCP-XXXX follows.

SCP-XXXX: I gotta say you got a really nice place here. You lived here long?

Dr. Madrigal: Uh, no. Three and a half you said?


Dr. Madrigal retrieves a jar of dill pickles from his refrigerator, pulls 4 from the jar and sets them on the counter. After returning the jar to the refrigerator he picks the pickles back up and hands them to SCP-XXXX.

Dr. Madrigal: Here's 4. Thanks for the help.

SCP-XXXX: Oh. Thanks but we're not allowed to take tips. One second.

SCP-XXXX lifts the top of its bun up and places the pickles between the bun and the beef patty. It then retrieves several pickle slices from the same location and holds them out in front of itself. After a brief moment of hesitation, Dr. Madrigal accepts the pickle slices and sets them on the counter. SCP-XXXX then lowers its top bun back down.

SCP-XXXX: Don't be afraid to call again if you need help. Just be sure to check the plug next time.

Dr. Madrigal: No problem.

SCP-XXXX steps around the broken glass near the door and leaves before immediately dematerializing outside.

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