MZL-1730: What Happened to Site-19?
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Aerial view of MZL-1730, "Site-19".


Man Zoo Specifications: MZL-1730 is located in the Upper Peninsula of the State of Michigan, USA. Due to the number of humanoid entities within MZL-1730, MZL Protocol Kaufmann-99 "All Hands On Deck" has been enacted, and all members of the Man Zoo League are ordered to report to MZL-1730 for assignment in managing the Man Zoo colloquially known as "Site-19".

Current staff of MZL-1730 is as follows:

  • Director: Dr. Ahngri Lizard, Ph.D.1
  • Assistant Director of Pain and Suffering: Dr. Scranton Oldman2
  • Assistant Director of Longstanding Grudges: Dr. Bihg Füt3
  • Assistant Director of Gaslighting: Dr. Lahng Eel4
  • Assistant Director of Reparations: Dr. Jack Bright5
  • Assistant Directors of Task Forces: Agent Able and Agent Cameron the Conqueror6
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Dr. Ahngri Lizard, Ph.D., Director of Man Zoo 1730.

Words That Describe The Man Zoo: MZL-1730 is a Man Zoo League Class A Super Deluxe High Security Maximum Effort Man Zoo built over what was, at one point in the recent past, SCP Foundation Site-19. Due to the occurrence of an unexplained but not unwelcomed FCK-Class "Freaky Friday" scenario, members of the former SCP Foundation have been contained within MZL-1730, while former inmates at the sociopathic fun-house that was Site-19 are now running the show.

A few points of order regarding Man Zoo 1730:

  • Man Zoo 1730 is not strictly a scientific research center. While we can definitely do research in it, sometimes we just want to come throw peanuts at the mans.
  • There doesn't seem to be an infinite number of mans inside the Man Zoo, so do take care not to bludgeon them too badly; we don't want to run out. If the supply of mans starts to get a little thin, send a requisition to Dr. Mr. Redd, the MZL Director of Resource Management.
  • Remember: mandatory groin kicks of MZL-001 "Moto42" are at the north quad on Thursdays starting at 7:45AM EST. Everybody has a lot of stuff to work out so get there early.
  • We've got a good fucking thing going here so don't nobody go messing with the cosmic order or anything and let's see how long we can ride this puppy out.
  • The word of the OverBobble Council is Law.

Anyone looking to help out with maintaining the facilities at MZL-1730 are asked to report to Director of Facilities Dr. Fernand Caniblé. Dr. Caniblé is asked not to munch the help.

Additionals 1730.1: SPECIAL MEMORANDUM FROM THE OVERBOBBLE COUNCIL

Bobble the Clown

"Bobble Assumes Command" [R2812]

1st Revised Green Shooting Draft

COLD OPEN

INT. OVERBOBBLE COUNCIL CHAMBERS

OVERBOBBLE-1 is sitting at a desk, looking over a stack of papers on his desk. He is holding his head in one hand, and his face is a mix of confusion and surprise.

EXT. SITE-19

A host of humans in orange uniforms are being led towards a building across the campus by a LARGE HULKING HUMANOID. The HUMANOID picks up the nearest human and begins to casually eat it as they continue walking.

CUT TO: OVERBOBBLE-1

OVERBOBBLE-1 looks up from his desk and notices the camera is rolling.

OVERBOBBLE-1

Oh, shit. You're there. I wasn't sure if you'd still be here after, uh… well. Welcome to, uh-

OVERBOBBLE-1 rummages through the papers on his desk.

OVERBOBBLE-1

-welcome to… Bobble the Clown. I'm your host, Bobble the- er, OverBobble-1, and on this week's episode, I've- well, we've seemingly, uh-

OVERBOBBLE-1 looks back up at the camera.

OVERBOBBLE-1

-well folks, it seems as if Providence has granted us control of the SCP Foundation. We're now the, uh-

HE looks at the wall behind his desk, where the words MAN ZOO LEAGUE are printed in rainbow colors.

OVERBOBBLE-1

-the Man Zoo League. I'll be honest, I'm just as surprised about this as you are. Seems we've found ourselves in a bit of a Freaky Friday situation here, and it looks like yours truly has been dropped in the uh- the Big Chair, so to speak.

OVERBOBBLE-1 looks back at the wall for a moment, and then turns back to the screen.

OVERBOBBLE-1

Until we figure out what's going on, we're going to just ride this out and uh- see how long this lasts. So… until next time, I've been- uh- OverBobble-1.

OVERBOBBLE-1 stares at the camera for a moment longer, then returns to looking at his papers.

CUT TO BLACK

Additionals 1730.2: SPECIAL MEMORANDUM FROM THE OVERBOBBLE COUNCIL #2

Bobble the Clown

"Bobble Understands the Gravity of the Situation" [R2812]

2nd Revised Green Shooting Draft

FADE IN:

INT. OVERBOBBLE COUNCIL CHAMBERS

OVERBOBBLE-1 is sitting at a desk. Surrounding him are OVERBOBBLES 2-13, each wearing a slightly different colored hat to differentiate themselves. OVERBOBBLE-1 is wearing a white hat. He is smiling. Somewhere in the background there is the sound of a whip cracking after every one of OVERBOBBLE-1's sentences.

OVERBOBBLE-1

Good morning, friends, family, compatriots and former members of the ruling class. It's me, Bobble, your friendly neighborhood megalomaniacal overlord. We of the OverBobble Council got together last night to do some thinking, and the first thing we realized-

OVERBOBBLE-1 gestures around himself to the other OVERBOBBLES sitting at the table.

OVERBOBBLE-1

-is that there are way more of me than I was aware of, and that the current state of affairs doesn't seem to be subsiding anytime soon. With that in mind, we've decided to mix things up a little bit here at the ole Man Zoo League.

OVERBOBBLE-1 stands up and walks to the right, and the camera follows. He stops in front of a blackboard, upon which are several crudge sketches of figures that appear to be uniformed SCP doctors and agents being mutilated in horrific ways.

OVERBOBBLE-1

It's been a quiet few weeks while we got our bearings here, boys and girls. But things are about to change. Starting out, I've selected a director for our flagship Man Zoo here at MZL-1730. You may have known him by his slave name SCP-682, but he's back in an academic capacity and ready to get to work. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Ahngri Lizard, Ph.D.

Camera pans to Dr. Lizard, who is hunched off to the side of the blackboard wearing a white lab coat and glasses. His expression does not appear amused.

DR. LIZARD

(Growls incomprehensibly)

[SUBTITLE: Charmed.]

Camera continues panning as OVERBOBBLE-1 comes back into frame, and follows him to where THE CORPSE OF FORMER SCP HEAD CHEF TIM HYNE is hanging upside down from his feet against a plywood backboard. Standing off to one side is DR. SCRANTON OLDMAN, holding a thoroughly worn and bloodied whip.

OVERBOBBLE-1

See, Dr. Lizard and I share a simple philosophy. These fellas here have been playing a pretty messed up game for a long time - and I mean really abhorrent. Did anyone stand to resist them? Only a few - and we value their efforts. But you know what really helps release all of that pent up frustration from years in a dark hole somewhere?

DR. OLDMAN hands the whip to OVERBOBBLE-1, who begins to furiously lash THE CORPSE OF FORMER SCP HEAD CHEF TIM HYNE.

OVERBOBBLE-1

Really letting them know how you feel directly.

(Laughs and wipes blood off his face.)

Come on now, Tim. Let's not make a scene in front of the kids.

OVERBOBBLE-1 continues to lash THE CORPSE OF FORMER SCP HEAD CHEF TIM HYNE for an additional fourteen minutes until it is thoroughly unrecognizable. Eventually he sets the whip down, exhausted. OVERBOBBLE-1 adjusts his hat, and then the camera pans as he walks back around to take his seat at the head of the table. Behind him is Dr. Lizard, as well as other new Man Zoo League senior staff members.

OVERBOBBLE-1

So there you have it. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to turn our beautiful Man Zoo here at MZL-1730 into a theme park of red delights for the poor sons of bitches who are now on the other end of the dick. Remember: the funniest thing about people who can die in the dark-

Camera zooms out, revealing a comically oversized rope with a sign reading "PULL ME" on it. DR. SCRANTON OLDMAN shuffles in from off-screen, grinning, and grabs the rope.

OVERBOBBLE-1

They can die pretty fucking easily in the light, too.

All members of the OVERBOBBLE COUNCIL begin to laugh hysterically as DR. SCRANTON OLDMAN pulls the rope. A dozen HUMANS, each wearing the uniform of an SCP FOUNDATION AGENT or SCP FOUNDATION DOCTOR, fall from the ceiling by nooses in front of the desk and begin to thrash as they are hung to death.

CREDITS ROLL

As the "Bobble the Clown" theme music swells, OVERBOBBLE-1 jumps on the desk and pulls a long knife from inside his jacket. He begins to swing it wildly at the hanging bodies, laughing and dousing himself in their blood.

FADE OUT

ON SCREEN: MAN ZOO LEAGUE LOGO

Additionals 1730.3: MZL Testing Log

Note: BY ORDER OF THE MZL-1730 DIRECTOR, testing of MZL objects is now mandatory. Associates who decide to take some sort of moral stand against oppressing any former subjugators will be force fed Keter cakes and infinite potatoes until they shit blood.

MZL Testing Log
Department of Pain and Suffering


Testing Supervisor: Mobile Task Force X-76 “Class of ‘76”
Test Subject: MZL-1833 “Ralph Roget”


Test ID: #0001

Test Parameters: To determine the mental fortitude of the subject while having its face removed.

MTF-X76: We’re going to begin making the first incision now. Scalpel please-

MZL-1833: Get your fucking hands off of me, you freaks. I swear to god I’ll-

MTF-X76: Begin cutting.

MZL-1833: Get away from me! Get- god, please, get- (screaming)

MTF-X76: Please note the subject’s distress for the record.

MZL-1833: Nooo! (Screaming) Not my beautiful face! What is wrong with you?!

MTF-X76: We’ll just do half today, and come back later to do the rest. The subject will require time to recover. (Pauses) Tell us, Ralph, would you say you’re feeling particularly mentally fortitudinous at this moment?

MZL-1833: God damn you, you aesthetically challenging ass-

MTF-X76: Fascinating. (Pauses) Hand me that bottle of bleach - we don’t want this getting infected.

Test ID: #0004

Test Parameters: To determine the subject’s response to certain auditory stimulation at specific volumes.

MTF-X76: Is the subject strapped in?

MTF-X76: One moment.

MZL-1833: I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but nothing can be worse than the face thing. You played your hand too early.

MTF-X76: The subject is restrained.

MTF-X76: Let us begin.

Music begins playing over loudspeakers in the test chamber. The subject is seen writhing uncomfortably in its restraints.

MZL-1833: Fuck me that’s loud. (Pauses) Is that… is that the King Cotton march?

MTF-X76: John Philip Sousa’s best, brought to you by the Kirk Lonwood High School marching band.

MZL-1833: Jesus, why does it hurt so much to listen to?

MTF-X76: Because it’s a John Philip Sousa march.

MZL-1833: God, turn it off! That’s so boring! Why is it so boring?

MTF-X76: (Collective laughter) Tough nuts, Ralph. We’ll be back - eventually. Until then, our director will have this on repeat for you.

MZL-1833: Noooooo! It’s so lame! Please, noo! Don’t leave me here! Take me back to the face room!



MZL Testing Log
Department of Pain and Suffering


Testing Supervisor: dr. dado
Test Subject: mzl-2935 “karlyle aktus”


Test ID: #0062

Test Parameters: see if subject like new revolutionary dado brand product

test is write by dado thnx

dr. dado: hello yes i am dr. dado i will be do the supervise 2 u today

mzl-2935: oh goodness why do u look that way

dr. dado: because uppercase key broken obviously. now come here old person and experience fine dado product u are first ever to experience this yes

mzl-2935: what is this suppose to do and also why does old person now be pastel color

dr. dado: yes well this is acceptable. mr. bobble is tell dado “u need to snazz up the place making better color paint wall and also idk test subject if u want” so now u are more acceptable bobble color

mzl-2935: my eyeballs are now multicolor help

dr. dado: yes



MZL Testing Log
Department of Pain and Suffering


Testing Supervisor: Dr. Durand and Mr. Nemeş
Test Subject: MZL-186 “Carlos Kalinin”


Test ID: #0002

Test Parameters: To pick the subject’s brain for additional technologies that might interest the Dr. Durand and Mr. Nemeş’s clientele.

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Dr. Durand and Mr. Nemeş and the recently scalped MZL-186.

Dr. Durand: (In the process of scalping MZL-186) Be reasonable, Carlos. We can make this stop anytime you want. We just want to pick your brain - and we’ll do it manually if we need to.

Mr. Nemeş: We are fair men, Carlos.

MZL-186: What you are is bastard people.

Dr. Durand: Hand me that clamp there Nemeş, I need to hold this flap down. (Adjusting microphone angle) Listen, Carlos, I’m going to use this angle grinder on your skull here in just a few moments, if you can’t give me something I can work with.

MZL-186: Here’s an idea for you. A gas powered hydraulic canister placed under your ass that you activate with a big red button so you can more efficiently fuck yourselves. (Laughs) That’s pretty good. Market that shit to the Hungarians.

Dr. Durand: Don't pretend like you wouldn't have done the same to us. (Sighs) Activate the pump please, Mr. Nemeş.

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