FloppyPhoenix's Nest

The Nest of FloppyPhoenix

I'm not a furry, ok?


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A rating module? On a sandbox page? Holy heckie!

Creature of Interest File #9731

floppy-birb.jpg

Initial sighting of CoI-9731. It's so pretty VERY DEADLY. RUN.

Name: FloppyPhoenix

Aliases used: Limp Firebird, Lieutenant Flops

Associated Groups of Interest: Gamers Against Weed
UPDATED — Currently: Independent

Reason for monitoring: CoI possesses various ontokinetic capabilities and is a direct threat to normalcy.

Course of Action: Immediate containment

Priority: High

Status: Currently believed to be engaging with hostile Selachian threats against protocol.

Background Information: Subject is a white Heron of unknown genus, measuring approximately 1.6 meters in height. CoI-9731 is believed to have been created by the Gamers Against Weed on 30/09/2023. The group attempted a series of arcane rituals to invoke various high-level thaumaturgic abilities, as well as the ability to vocalize in human languages, into a common Heron. At the time, its creation was intended as a method to facilitate an active partnership with a Class VIII ontokinetic entity known as [DATA EXPUNGED] as all previous attempts at making contact with the entity had failed.

On 22/10/2023, after further attempts at contacting [DATA EXPUNGED] had failed, CoI-9731 was repurposed for various humorous uses, including practical jokes, pranks, online and offline trolling campaigns, and in one instance, the nomination of CoI-9731 for candidacy in the 2024 American election under the Libertarian Party.

Note: CoI-9731 made exceptional progress in its election campaign, likely due to the coordinated efforts of the Gamers Against Weed and as a product of its own reality-altering abilities. CoI-9731 received 50.1% of the popular vote in the 2024 Libertarian National Convention, surpassing even candidate Vermin Supreme, at 31%. CoI-9731 was projected to continue to make significant efforts towards American presidential candidacy before the Foundation successfully enacted amnesticization efforts in an attempt to hinder CoI-9731.

In mid-2024, after months of using CoI-9731 in numerous successful wide-scale humorous campaigns, CoI-9731 forcibly escaped from a Gamers Against Weed compound, after which local law enforcement reported the incident to Foundation personnel. A raid on the compound found that the basement of the compound was filled with various Gamers Against Weed-typical items, including copious amounts of Doritos, Mountain Dew, and hard drives containing numerous ironic memes. On the first floor, a large living space was apparently dedicated to CoI-9731 and included various elements of furnishing typical for domestic birds.

One element in particular was noted by agents on-site: a laptop containing various documents aligning with those typically accessed by Level 3 Foundation personnel was found in a second floor living space. The laptop also contained a bootleg program similar in appearance and performance to that of the latest iteration of SCiPNET. It was found that Gamers Against Weed had used CoI-9731's ontokinetic thaumaturgic capabilities to access and disseminate top secret Foundation informaton to the rest of the Gamers Against Weed. In addition, multiple documents on anomalous phenomena had apparently been doctored by CoI-9731. A list of documents can be found in the Attached Documents section.

CoI-9731 could not be tracked by the Foundation for approximately 9 months after its escape from the Gamers Against Weed compound. In February 2025, CoI-9731 was finally re-discovered off the coast of Eastern Florida attacking various anomalous Selachian entities, believed to correspond to SCP-████. Upon Foundation intervention, CoI-9731 fled, but not before redirecting the Selachian entities to attack Foundation field agents.

CoI-9731 continues to pursue efforts against Selachian entities and Foundation personnel. The Foundation has attempted correspondence with the Centre for Selachian Pugilism to determine whether CoI-9731 is affiliated with them. The Centre has ignored the Foundation's phone calls.


Attached Documents:

The following documents were found to be doctored by CoI-9731 on a laptop within a derelict Gamers Against Weed compound. They have been transcribed below.

Pages

Drafts — In-progress:
Page Link Project Title Project Type
001 FloppyPhoenix 001 This Is Not For You 001 Proposal
I FloppyPhoenix I Oneirifornication SCP
II FloppyPhoenix II SCP Insurance Services SCP
III FloppyPhoenix III SPC Declassification Declassification
IV FloppyPhoenix IV furniture by dado Tale
V FloppyPhoenix V My Dear Eremita (AO Tale) Tale
VI Floppyphoenix VI The Defenestration Magistrate Series
VII FloppyPhoenix VII The Pi Monster SCP
VIII FloppyPhoenix VIII Crispy Sex Pirates (CSP) Series
IX FloppyPhoenix IX ANSO — Then Perish Tale
X FloppyPhoenix X A Potato Thirst SCP
Collaborations — In-progress:
Page Link Collab Title Collab Type
Westrin Collab Floppy-Westy Collab The Dank Antimeme SCP
Yossi Collab Yossi-Floppy Collab The Maze SCP
EndingParadox Collab Paradox-Floppy Collab [Name Pending] SCP
Testing Page:
Test FloppyPhoenix Test Floppy's Testing Page

Crits received:

Ideas Listing:

Order of Workflow:

1. SCP-3100 Declassification
2. Crispy Sex Pirates (Series)
3. Westrin collab or Yossi collab or EndingParadox collab
4. Oneirifornication (I really want to finish this but it's pretty ambitious!)


Closing remarks:

The day the Foundation loses to a bird is the day the Foundation has failed humanity. Find it. If I see another fake entry uploaded to SCiPNET I'm going to blow a gasket.

— Senior Researcher MacGuffin, Memetics and Infohazards Division, Site-82

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