Weryllium SCP #5

rating: 0+x

A portion of SCP-3536.

Item #: SCP-3536

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3536 is contained in a Safe-class storage room in Site-234. Testing of SCP-3536 with other bacterial SCP objects requires written permission from the Research Supervisor (currently Dr. Maravilla). All SCP-3536-1 instances created for testing purposes are to be destroyed by incineration following conclusion of testing.

Description: SCP-3536 is a large piece of machinery approximately 30 square meters in area. SCP-3536's main components include a hopper labeled 'Raw Materials', two broth tanks, several pumps and compressors, and a console containing several dials. Both tanks will spontaneously refill with nutrient broth if emptied completely. Due to corrosion, only one dial is able to be moved. SCP-3536 also possesses a receptacle that attaches to a small glass vial.

Material recovered alongside SCP-3536 provided incomplete details to its operation. This material states than any mixture of compounds containing carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and phosphorus will fuel SCP-3536, and recommends a mixture of charcoal, phosphoric acid, sulfuric acid, and nitrogen gas.

If a bacteria-containing sample is placed in the vial and inserted, SCP-3536 will proceed to use the stored raw materials to create live replicas of any bacteria present in the sample. These replicas, hereafter designated SCP-3536-1, are magnified in size according to the selected setting on the movable dial; testing has resulted in instances ranging in size from 2 to 45 cm.

Aside from their anomalous size, SCP-3536-1 instances possess no additional properties of note.

Discovery: Local law enforcement tracked down and detained nine individuals attempting to kidnap a patient from [REDACTED] Hospital afflicted with endocartitis. The group was responsible for multiple reports of battery and illegal entry into various hospitals, and had gained notoriety for their modus operandi of collecting samples from infectious and terminal patients. Upon investigation of the ringleader's residence, SCP-3536 was discovered in the basement.

Also found alongside SCP-3536 were handwritten cookbooks containing recipes for dishes prepared from SCP-3536-1 instances. Writing in the books matched those of several of the individuals.

Excerpts from the books:

Page 12

Marco has outdone himself this time. I never would have thought it, but slow-cooking the Rickettsia in a Streptococcus reduction just really gives it that savory flavor and tenderness. I recommend serving this one with a white wine, and perhaps on top of Pseudomonas rice? Let's experiment with this one. Fuck meat, we don't need it when we got this.

Page 47

Emily here, I got a really good one this time. I think I can improve on Cat's recipe (page 29) with a couple twists. I remember Leo had this really good stewed Mycobacterium leprae. We could instead dice it, and then marinate it for a few hours, and add that into Cat's recipe instead of Staphylococcus. I think the flavors would mix really nicely, you get the crunchy coolness of the original recipe mixed with the kick from the myco. Question is, how the hell are we gonna get ahold of more of it? We gotta get more somehow.

Page 89

… I mean really, when you stop and think about it, why would we eat anything else? Bacteria are quite possibly the dominant lifeform in the universe. They live everywhere. They thrive everywhere. Humans? Plants? Dinosaurs? All small time compared to the true masters! Nothing else can claim an unchallenged reign spanning billions of years.

Extensive testing involving consumption of SCP-3536-1 by D-Class has failed to reveal any inherent addictive or mind-affecting properties.

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