She's a Good Egg
rating: +3+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Grocers in Europe are to be monitored for SCP-XXXX products. Foundation web crawlers are to monitor for mentions of SCP-XXXX online. Any suspected SCP-XXXX instances are to be tracked down and retrieved. Once secured, all instances of SCP-XXXX are to be cataloged and stored in Site-55's low-risk item storage. Expired instances are to be incinerated as needed.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a chocolate flavored, rice-based cereal with dehydrated marshmallows named "Judy's Choco-Wonder Explosion Marshmallow Bites!™" and labeled under the Dr. Wondertainment (GoI-386) brand. The box of the product depicts a humanoid female with an unusually large tongue1 outstretching her arms and looking up at an arc made of six unique marshmallow shapes. The nutritional information listed on the side of the box claims its contents possess high levels of nutrients not typically found in cereals such as Omega 32 and Vitamin B3 while possessing low-Calorie counts and low sugar, fat, and carbohydrates. This conflicts with the known nutritional value of the listed ingredients, such as eggs, sugar, chocolate, corn syrup, and cornstarch.

When a quantity of milk exceeding 227 grams is poured into a bowl containing SCP-XXXX, the marshmallows will animate and vocalize. The marshmallows will sing a song typically regarding the importance of proper dental hygiene, exercise, and consuming a balanced diet before ceasing further anomalous behavior. Subjects under the age of 12 regularly claim SCP-XXXX to be "yummy" and "the best cereal ever". However, when consumed by subjects over the age of 12, SCP-XXXX is reported to taste similar to unsweetened oatmeal.

SCP-XXXX manifests with no discernible pattern in supermarkets across western Europe, without any traceable origin. SCP-XXXX can also be purchased at Wondertainment's online store, "wondertainment.███"4, specifically under the URL "sweets.wondertainment.███/choco-wonder".

Below is a table detailing the shapes and nutritional properties of the marshmallows in SCP-XXXX.

Shape Notes
Fish Contains high amounts of Omega 3 and has been noted to swim during performances. Sings in a bass voice.
Crescent Moon Contains high mineral concentration of calcium and magnesium. Sings in a baritone voice.
Trumpet Contains the highest mineral concentration of SCP-XXXX. Sings in a tenor voice.
Skull Contains high levels of calcium and vitamin D3. Sings in a countertenor voice.
Candy Is noted to be the sweetest tasting of the marshmallows. Sings in a soprano voice.
Circle The marshmallow is invisible5, rendering research into its properties difficult. Sings in a tenor voice.
    • _

    On 4/10/2003, Researcher May Waters received an email (even though no email was given when inputting a code) confirming that she had won the final prize (associated with "Judy's Peanut Butter Brownie Crisps!™"). The email was immediately followed by a second email, confirming that May Waters was in possession of all the SCP-XXXX associated prizes (currently AO-████ through AO-████) and that the "super-ultra-mega prize" would arrive in 3-5 business days.

    All previous prizes had materialized directly onto the lap of Researcher Waters at random (within the given time frames). Upon receiving said email, Researcher May Waters purposefully isolated herself within a standard humanoid containment chamber, instructing Site staff to treat her as an anomalous humanoid until the prize had arrived, and to then approach the prize with caution and take it into testing.

    On 4/16/2003, a cylindrical container, encased in purple and yellow wrapping paper and ribbons, materialized in Researcher Waters' lap. The "prize" was designated URA-5350. No memetic, antimemetic, or cognitohazardous properties were discovered by Researcher Waters nor by Neuro-Sims within the containment chamber. Researcher May Waters was instructed to open URA-5350 by Dr. Everwood. No anomalous effects were reported.

    After further testing revealed no further anomalous properties, URA-5350 (now AO-4006) was scheduled for neutralization. However, Researcher Waters professed the wish to hang AO-4006 inside her office. After a final inspection confirmed no further anomalous properties, Researcher Waters was allowed to keep AO-4006. As of 5/23/2003, SCP-XXXX's research budget has been reduced by 75%.

    To date, no SCP-XXXX instances have indicated further prize giveaways. SCP-XXXX has been reclassified as Safe.

      • _

      Item #: AO-4006
      Item Description: A poster, depicting the GoI-386 associated anomalous musical performance group "The Little Misters". PoI-386-1022, "Judy", is also present and is posing with the band.
      Date of Recovery: 4/16/2003
      Location of Recovery: Site-55, Massachusetts
      Current Status: Kept in Researcher May Water's office.
      Notes: The poster has a message written in black permanent marker on the back, addressed to Researcher May. The text has been transcribed below:

         May,

         The space on the back of this poster is not large enough to tell you how much you mean to me. I've never met you, but I feel like we know each other, in some cosmic sort of way. I never expected anyone could have ever bought so much cereal, but your brand-loyalty has been nothing short of a spectacle.
         I can only reasonably come to the conclusion that you are a philanthropist who knows of the plight of the Candy Catalysts, and have been spending vast amounts of money to help us out of the rut we've been in for decades. I'm sorry if a simple poster is too small a gift from me to you, as I would imagine it would feel like. But I assure you that your contributions have been more than just noticed.
         "May Waters, 2nd Founder of the Sweets & Consumables Department"
         Look for your name on some upcoming products, and I hope to meet you in person one day.

         Your secret admirer,
         Judy the Tongue ❤


Thank you MeserachMeserach, stormbreathstormbreath, WerylliumWeryllium, Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade, StallmanticStallmantic, 9Volt9Volt, Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby

"More of a build," Meserach says. "There should be more of a build." Perhaps descriptions of each individual prize, and more steps in the budget increases. "Stress how every budget increase is to procedure".

Possible slot: SCP-2983

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